you know you're getting old when

Some things just aren't funny any more...It's hard to say that because it echoes what my own mother used to say - talking about the brittle humour and facile jokes at surface appearances. It's happening right now with what is passing for political satire in the states.

Wow, that sounded pretty crotchety, didn't it? Well, unfortunately it is true. What is being satirized currently is little more than the surface issues. McCain is old, Clinton is a woman and Obama is running quickly in the opposite direction from his pastor.

By accepting these simplistic stabs at making fun of political leaders, we don't have to look deeper into issues and the more difficult solutions being called for.

What is the problem with the words spoken by Obama's (former) spiritual advisor? He wasn't saying the bombings of 9-11 were justified, but that perhaps there was a reason beyond one of blind desire to inflict unreasoning terror upon innocent people. It does tie back into the increasing use of guerilla warfare and the involvement of civilian bystanders. Of course no member of a western civilization wants to look at just how many of their civilians are killed by our unthinking actions - either by starvation or violence.

The need here is to examine why Americans have to demonize rather than understand their enemies. The love-it-or-leave-it philosophy leaves absolutely no room for examining constructive criticism and seeking a way to heal the past.

And I like Americans - my sister was born in Seattle, my dad went to the University of Washington and I can remember many summers spent in Washington, Idaho, Oregon and California. Canadians tend to get quite defensive about Americans, offensive actually, when mistaken for Yanks (which happens frequently-we share many similarities) but there are a lot of things we do share with them beyond television shows and blue jeans...but more of that another time.

Speaking of Greek - Doctor's have their own language

And it's all so we don't throw ourselves under the next convenient bus.
Anyway, the biopsy results were that there were no cells showing malignancy but lots of different cells that will happily continue to grow without restraint. Anyone here remember pictures of goiters from the good old days before iodized salt?










Okay, mine isn't that bad right now but, left alone, it will be and on both sides of neck.
Also, some of the cell structures in the biopsy are the kind that have a rather unpleasant habit of suddenly deciding to go to the dark side - Darth Synthroid....so I see a surgeon in a few weeks and find out about having yet another bit of the innards yarded out. It isn't working anyway and is starting to get uncomfortable, so what the heck, eh?

At least that's what I hope. I don't want to go through another year of playing the ultrasound, biopsy specialist boogey. It takes a long time, time off work, time driving to appointments, time sitting in waiting rooms, time wondering, wondering, wondering what's developed since the last time...

The Wheels on the Bus

keep falling off, falling off, falling off...

If my life was a Greek play, the Chorus would be humming that in the background through just about every day now. It starts when you turn 40; things stop working and other bits get scheduled for removal and maybe replacement - depending on parts availability for your particular model.
I've been joking for a few years now that I've had pretty much every disposable organ removed (except for the standards, appendix and tonsils) so now the medical professionals are starting to sharpen their scalpels for the semi-disposables, those bits that really have a function but can be replaced by medication or something mechanical.

I started this post when I was just about to head off to the doctor's office for the result of a thyroid biopsy - oh boy, was that fun but another story...in a long series of uncomfortable, painful and/or embarrassing medical examinations I have had over the years.

I've had a little thyroid problem for years, called Hashimoto's thryoiditis, that is responsible for a disparate group of symptoms from dry skin, lethargy - some days, when the thyroxine needs adjusting upwards, lethargy is more like wading through glue - constipation and and enlarged tongue, of all things. Actually that last item explains a lot of difficulty I've had over the years in simply talking quickly and clearly. Anyway, thyroxine is a synthetic hormone that replaces the thyroid hormone not being produced by the thyroid...Because the thyroid isn't producing enough hormone the brain secretes another hormone to stimulate the poor wee thyroid but only makes it grow larger - and become a goiter.

Anyway, long story short, I've been under control for a long time but last year my dentist noticed growth in the thyroid. That could mean an adjustment in meds but my doctor thought an ultrasound was in order. This led to a biopsy which meant lying on a gurney, my head hanging back off a pillow so my throat is raised. A total stranger walks into the dimly lit room, wipes the cold ultrasound gel off a part of the neck and injects a local anesthetic into the area of the thyroid he plans on sampling. It felt like my vocal chords were being pinched from the inside...weird. Then he roots around with a hollow needle sucking out bits of the larger nodules to send off for a look-see by a pathologist.

That's what's supposed to happen, anyway. The first time I went for the biopsy, the radiologist (i.e. man with many needles) looked at the ultrasound and said, "gee, you've got so many nodules, I think it's just a goiter." Off I scampered, happily free of the prospect of having needles jammed in my neck. The doctor said, "Of course it's a goiter: your thyroid is enlarged. That's what 'goiter' means - I want to know WHY!" and back I went.

Yesterday, when I started this post, I found out the why. With my history I have a statistically significant increased risk of developing one of four cancers in the thyroid. Three of them are quite treatable and have excellent prognosis, one of them means I'm dead before Christmas. But if it was that one, I'd be dead now. Anyway, there was more than a little apprehension waiting for the results to this one.

I'll post the results later. This is already too long and I've got a lot of housework to do in a very short amount of time before my friend from Edmonton shows up for a golf game. Man, I really need this - a few hours away from everything. I love golf, it's one of those few things that forces me to focus on one thing at a time and, while I'm not great at it, I am relatively competent - which is a nice change from just about everything else right now.

Why like Ike?

"Disarmament, with mutual honor and confidence, is a continuing imperative. Together we must learn how to compose differences, not with arms, but with intellect and decent purpose. Because this need is so sharp and apparent I confess that I lay down my official responsibilities in this field with a definite sense of disappointment. As one who has witnessed the horror and the lingering sadness of war -- as one who knows that another war could utterly destroy this civilization which has been so slowly and painfully built over thousands of years -- I wish I could say tonight that a lasting peace is in sight. "

This is how a former general and leader left his post as president of the United States: with words that were elegant and prophetic. The most striking thing about his speech, if you read it, is how intelligent he sounds, how polished. His attitude towards his audience is one of respect and he displays a basic assumption they understand what he says. There is no folksy cuteness, no dumbing down of what he has to say and certainly no sugar coating the truth to make it palatable.

Remember this was in 1961 and how far we have come since Eisenhower gave his farewell address. Consider how sophisticated most people feel themselves to be these days, how much more media savvy and aware, then look at the difference between how a president spoke in the late 50's/early 60's and how our political leaders speak to us today.

To see the speech, here's a link to a video

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/dwightdeisenhowerfarewell.html

And to follow along with a transcript of the speech which includes the first use of that great phrase, military-industrial complex, here are the words: http://coursesa.matrix.msu.edu/~hst306/documents/indust.html

And he was true soldier, he'd fought battles and would never send his troops anywhere without knowing first the situation he was sending them into or without what we now call 'an exit strategy. He wore a uniform and there are many photographs taken with him in it but he never wore one just because a camera was around.

insomnia

It's one of those things that happens now and then, more often to those of us inclined to it. In my case there seems to be a family pattern - at least myself and my oldest daughter find ourselves sitting up in the middle of the night staring at the ceiling.
I've learned over the years, starting when I was around 14, I think, to just get up and either read or putter with a pen and paper for a few hours. Now the computer has replaced the pen/paper old school thing.
I suppose it is an improvement to do something that may be read by someone - makes it feel more like actually communicating. On the other hand, it is rather presumptious of me to think whatever thoughts are staggering through my head at this time of night are of any interest to anyone besides myself. The presumptuous part is that the thoughts make any sense.
For a few years now it has been aggravated by those expected symptoms of the hormonal balance fluctuating once again, this time to signal the end of child bearing years and the beginning of the cloak of invisibility that age seems to confer on women.